Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Passionate Feminist Writings!


People say books are our best friends. Well, to me not just books but the pen can also come to your rescue when life is blue and loneliness hovers around or may be when life is extremely good going and ‘sharing is happiness’ becomes the order of the day.

With the emergence of Women Studies and with the feminist message spreading across the globe, sisterhood has really become powerful.

The vibrant cover pages of the books written by women portray the darker side of womanhood as one flips the pages. But what is inspiring is that these women not just overcame the troubles life had showered upon them, but they have done their bit in arousing the conscience and consciousness of their fellow sisters.

After reading Nivedita Menon’s Seeing like a Feminist, I called up a he friend from JNU admiring Menon’s work. To my surprise, he ended up saying, ‘ Menon is a radical feminist. She believes in the slogan- PERSONAL IS POLITICAL.’

I was taken aback. Anyone who reads her red paperback would be touched with the facts she had provided with. And you study at a top Indian university, reluctant to admire a feminist?

And as every coin has a reverse side, this episode too had a positive side. Six months later I saw one of my friends carrying a copy of Menon’s work and she happily claimed that it was her partner’s gift to her on her birthday!

Whenever I get bankrupt, may be the online shopping site FLIPKART gets a little richer. At one such shopping day, I picked up three books all of a sudden. Speedpost because I haven’t read any of Shobha De’s work, Warrior in a Pink Sari because I saw Sampat Pal in a Bigg Boss season and Lean In- Women, Work and the Will to Lead because FLIPKART had published their list of weekend picks and this book by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of FACEBOOK attracted me!

Speedpost is very private, a bundle of private letters by Shobha De to her own children. The beauty of the book lays in its boldness. The boldness of a mother to confess about her life infront of her children and her ability to teach her kids the basic humane etiquettes, which sadly is missing in our new generations. These can be as simple as being indebted to the servants, taking care of pets as family members, taking people as they are irrespective of their physical and racial appearances, doing something special for the veterans in family and being aware of the ill effects of substance abuse!

May be Sampat Pal doesn’t claim her to be a feminist. But Warrior in a Pink Sari is a vivid symbol of Indian feminism. To be a feminist, you don’t have to give up on your sari- her journey ensures this for sure!

She pens down her life in a raw manner. The founder of the Gulabi Gang not just speaks against the husbands who beat their wives up, but Sampat Pal has been a threat to the goons who grab the villagers’ land and to the policemen who refuse to file reports on violence upon a Dalit. The best part was to know that in order to keep her husband and their kids away from the daily disturbances at home due to her meetings with the village women who came to seek her advice; she took a very bold step. She rented a house a little away from her home with a Gang member, Jay Prakash. She was true to herself and her husband trusted her. The society will never anyway keep shut the gossips to fly.

Lean In- Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg is all about the question of double burden and the dilemmas of a woman as a wife and a worker. She writes that if women can contribute half to home economics and men can do half of the housework, then there can be a reduction to the current accelerating rate of divorces. It was interesting to know that apart from maternity leave, FACEBOOK blesses its male employees with paternity leave as well!

They are not writers but Olympic medalists Saina Nehwal and M.C.Mary Kom in their autobiographies Playing to Win and Unbreakable respectively, brought into light how tough sports actually are. There was a time when I would speak about some random sportsperson emphasizing more on their sports quota. But after reading these books and after looking close into the life of a close friend, who is a top state Table Tennis player, I feel guilty not looking into their daily compulsion to perform in unpredictable sports. More interesting is to know that how Saina Nehwal’s father and M.C.Mary Kom’s husband left no stone unturned to make these Indian women prosper not just in their own lives but in the entire world.

A few other books- The Second Sex  by Simone de Beauvoir, The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank and The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan can be a good read in all times to come. Besides, Lajja by Taslima Nasrin, The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy and I am Malala by Malala Yousufzai are thought-provoking and can be a fruitful investment into a feminist’s library!

Currently I am reading Kaberi Kochari Rajkonwar’s Assamese novel or may be her autobiography (she refuses to claim the either genre), Issa-Anissa Swotteo Kisu Kotha. She wrote about the difficulties faced by the women cadres and about the gruesome effects of the jungle upon the health of the cadres. But as I am about to reach the end of this thick book, I wonder if the entire hatred and bloodshed on either side was actually worth it!

What I find best about the women writers and feminist writings is that they don’t just write about their lives, childhood, education, achievements, marriage and kids but also their passion to do their bit for the betterment of society. Such writings can indeed inspire, empower and enrich!

Journeys Teach!


Did your degrees ever overlook your dreams? While ‘honesty is the best policy’, why or what compels us to lie? Why we are happy with ‘WHAT IS’ rather than ‘WHAT CAN BE’? What makes us happy about our public relations over private relationships? What are our insecurities? Why we are not happy?

The million Dollar answer to these questions is unknown or may be agreed to be hidden!

Many a times we see our fellow friends in the country getting mesmerized at the sight of ‘foreigners’ on Indian streets. At Agra, after appreciating the magnificent Taj Mahal, the next magnificent stares roll into the ‘foreigners’!

Did you read the book- The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari? Did you watch the Hollywood movie- JOBS?

Well the irony is while the ‘foreigners’ are travelling into India for soul-searching and to attain salvation in their lives, we Indians are literally and intentionally burying ourselves into the West- physically and more importantly mentally. In the process, we backstab our conscience!

Watch a dog very carefully. Irrespective of his breed, he/she portrays a vivid circle of emotions. They smile. They cry. They hug. They fight. Yet, they are loved for they are not expected to be perfect. After all, they are animals!

The same is the case of human beings. They smile. They cry. They hug. They fight. The only difference is that a person speaks and a dog barks. Yet, human beings are criticized and at times rejected because they are expected to be perfect!

Did you watch the first longest running reality show on Indian television? If no, catch up with any season of MTV Roadies. Any orthodox Indian parents, okay leave it. Any Indian parents would reject the show if they watch the auditions. Why?

Simply because they dare to deal with the truth! They talk about the “sensational” living-together thing. They discuss about the “taboo” topic- sex. They hear the stories of gays and lesbians. They talk about bullies, condoms and diseases, to name a few. While the show began with the craze amongst the youngsters to go on a road trip and win themselves bikes at the end of the journey, gradually ‘passion’ in the show is being replaced by ‘respect’ because of its “boldness”.

And yes this is the million Dollar answer to all those ‘WHYs’ in Indian minds!

Are you bold enough?

Can you take the risk of giving up on your degrees which involved a lot of money, rewards, sweat and time, to pursue your dreams?

Can you afford to suffer the pain of rejection while uttering the truth?

Can you speak on behalf of a total stranger in society when he/she is being mistreated? Or you prefer playing the game of a silent spectator?

Can you shed your focus from physical and material benefits from a relationship? Given a chance, wouldn’t we choose an eternal partner over the virtual media?

Can you nurture the perfect sense in your imperfect self? Can you accept failures gracefully and move on in life?

Can we be true to ourselves?

If the answers to the aforesaid questions are all ‘YES’, then indubitably we can be happy!

Journeys indeed teach us in life. And for that, we don’t have to take our backpacks and leave our homes. Life itself is a journey. Everything will teach you something in life. If the ‘foreigners’ can teach us about risk-taking, the Indian Roadies teaches us about truth. If dogs can teach us about loyalty, humanity can teach us about reason!

So, what did your journey teach you?
And what did your conscience say?

Heritage



An elderly lady came to my place and asked my Ma, “You should change your vintage furniture. Aren’t your children demand for some posh looks?”

My Ma humbly replied, “They don’t want to change anything in the house. They say it’s their heritage.”

I was proud she uttered that. And the irony was the elderly lady had no room in her rather her so-called ‘son’s house’.

Yes you should dispose off the worn out stuff and if you happen to make your dream house, plan accordingly. But it’s about personal choices. You may be having a happy life on a scooter and your neighbor may not be in his SUV. If you are happy, stay so. It doesn’t matter whether you are living in a bungalow or at a hovel. And the best part is such elderly ladies are in every neighborhood leading a confused life and yet trying to make others feel fragile.

At times I miss my paternal grandparents when I see my friends living with theirs. I didn’t even see mine. But then I am blessed that I am living under the roof which was built under their surveillance. I am blessed we rode on the Ambassador which saw the tides of time. We still have the car safe…that is our vintage car. Today people hire interior designers to pick up antique pieces for their sophisticated apartment. But we are lucky our ancestors did that for us.

We do have a 29” TV but nothing can beat the color television which was bought by my grandmother. No remote yet attractive. I grew up watching those beautiful pigeons housed in a big cage with an open door. We have a courtyard with a little garden. Our terrace has a flag post too. Earlier people used to celebrate National Days rather than having National Holidays.

I live in a city, I write but now we have a cool designation, say, ‘blogger’, but I don’t want to change few little things in my life. Yes I am a human being and I too love glitterati but not at the cost of losing stuff that belonged to my grandparents. This is nothing emotional but it’s a matter of inheritance. I love that feeling when I touch the worn out walls of my building or ride on that Ambassador or get water from that decades old well.

In near future, we will definitely renovate our home. Not to bring in classy stuff but to strengthen it for another 70 years and more. New colors will be in, latest gadgets will ease life and a sparkling car will be bought for the convenience of the older generation. But every attempt will be made to keep every piece of memory of my grandparents alive as a blessing. Afterall this is what our actually heritage is!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

THE LSE DREAM FOR KNOWLEDGE IS GREAT


One of my friends said, ‘If there is a will, there is always a train waiting!’

The DOs and DONTs in my country are so immense for girls that at times and may be all the times, I dream of catching that train to the nearest Metro Kolkata and fly to UK to live my dream.

Many women in my family say that the feminists are mean at times. But they do not know how the incidents and instances in their daily lives have made my mind restless in studying gender!

And once amidst that inferior scene of being a ‘woman’, a small story in the local daily, THE ASSAM TRIBUNE attracted me. The interchange of diplomatic ties between Indian and British officials brought home quite a number of scholarships for Indian students to study at the Gender Institute of The London School of Economics and Political Science. And there on, LSE became my dream.

At times, I find everything around me to be futile. I realize losing my own identity. Then there are some places where you think you can achieve for what you have taken birth. I am lucky to be born as an Indian. Love my culture, my people, the chaos and the diversity. But indubitably Britain gives me the hope to achieve what I desire. I want to break down the orthodox milieu around me and enjoy the freedom of knowledge on the Houghton Street. 

I want to interact with the heterogeneous community of the LSE and take forward my research work. I want to try liberating our lives from that attached unknown fear that rules over us. If women can love men unconditionally, I wonder what pleases men in diminishing her worth. Besides, I have the ultimate zeal of hearing from the best people around the world and help me find a solution to the women problem.

London sounds to be very upbeat to me since childhood. Hope someday I become a part LSE and take pride in completing my research from that faraway land. I want to grab a scholarship soon and meet my destiny. I definitely want to come back to India and glorify the LSE experience with the future change makers!