The Passionate Feminist Writings!

People say books are our best friends. Well, to me not just books but the pen can also come to your rescue when life is blue and loneliness hovers around or may be when life is extremely good going and ‘sharing is happiness’ becomes the order of the day.

With the emergence of Women Studies and with the feminist message spreading across the globe, sisterhood has really become powerful.

The vibrant cover pages of the books written by women portray the darker side of womanhood as one flips the pages. But what is inspiring is that these women not just overcame the troubles life had showered upon them, but they have done their bit in arousing the conscience and consciousness of their fellow sisters.

After reading Nivedita Menon’s Seeing like a Feminist, I called up a he friend from JNU admiring Menon’s work. To my surprise, he ended up saying, ‘ Menon is a radical feminist. She believes in the slogan- PERSONAL IS POLITICAL.’

I was taken aback. Anyone who reads her red paperback would be touched with the facts she had provided with. And you study at a top Indian university, reluctant to admire a feminist?

And as every coin has a reverse side, this episode too had a positive side. Six months later I saw one of my friends carrying a copy of Menon’s work and she happily claimed that it was her partner’s gift to her on her birthday!

Whenever I get bankrupt, may be the online shopping site FLIPKART gets a little richer. At one such shopping day, I picked up three books all of a sudden. Speedpost because I haven’t read any of Shobha De’s work, Warrior in a Pink Sari because I saw Sampat Pal in a Bigg Boss season and Lean In- Women, Work and the Will to Lead because FLIPKART had published their list of weekend picks and this book by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of FACEBOOK attracted me!

Speedpost is very private, a bundle of private letters by Shobha De to her own children. The beauty of the book lays in its boldness. The boldness of a mother to confess about her life infront of her children and her ability to teach her kids the basic humane etiquettes, which sadly is missing in our new generations. These can be as simple as being indebted to the servants, taking care of pets as family members, taking people as they are irrespective of their physical and racial appearances, doing something special for the veterans in family and being aware of the ill effects of substance abuse!

May be Sampat Pal doesn’t claim her to be a feminist. But Warrior in a Pink Sari is a vivid symbol of Indian feminism. To be a feminist, you don’t have to give up on your sari- her journey ensures this for sure!

She pens down her life in a raw manner. The founder of the Gulabi Gang not just speaks against the husbands who beat their wives up, but Sampat Pal has been a threat to the goons who grab the villagers’ land and to the policemen who refuse to file reports on violence upon a Dalit. The best part was to know that in order to keep her husband and their kids away from the daily disturbances at home due to her meetings with the village women who came to seek her advice; she took a very bold step. She rented a house a little away from her home with a Gang member, Jay Prakash. She was true to herself and her husband trusted her. The society will never anyway keep shut the gossips to fly.

Lean In- Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg is all about the question of double burden and the dilemmas of a woman as a wife and a worker. She writes that if women can contribute half to home economics and men can do half of the housework, then there can be a reduction to the current accelerating rate of divorces. It was interesting to know that apart from maternity leave, FACEBOOK blesses its male employees with paternity leave as well!

They are not writers but Olympic medalists Saina Nehwal and M.C.Mary Kom in their autobiographies Playing to Win and Unbreakable respectively, brought into light how tough sports actually are. There was a time when I would speak about some random sportsperson emphasizing more on their sports quota. But after reading these books and after looking close into the life of a close friend, who is a top state Table Tennis player, I feel guilty not looking into their daily compulsion to perform in unpredictable sports. More interesting is to know that how Saina Nehwal’s father and M.C.Mary Kom’s husband left no stone unturned to make these Indian women prosper not just in their own lives but in the entire world.

A few other books- The Second Sex  by Simone de Beauvoir, The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank and The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan can be a good read in all times to come. Besides, Lajja by Taslima Nasrin, The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy and I am Malala by Malala Yousufzai are thought-provoking and can be a fruitful investment into a feminist’s library!

Currently I am reading Kaberi Kochari Rajkonwar’s Assamese novel or may be her autobiography (she refuses to claim the either genre), Issa-Anissa Swotteo Kisu Kotha. She wrote about the difficulties faced by the women cadres and about the gruesome effects of the jungle upon the health of the cadres. But as I am about to reach the end of this thick book, I wonder if the entire hatred and bloodshed on either side was actually worth it!

What I find best about the women writers and feminist writings is that they don’t just write about their lives, childhood, education, achievements, marriage and kids but also their passion to do their bit for the betterment of society. Such writings can indeed inspire, empower and enrich!

Heritage

An elderly lady came to my place and asked my Ma, “You should change your vintage furniture. Aren’t your children demand for some posh looks?”

My Ma humbly replied, “They don’t want to change anything in the house. They say it’s their heritage.”

I was proud she uttered that. And the irony was the elderly lady had no room in her rather her so-called ‘son’s house’.

Yes you should dispose off the worn out stuff and if you happen to make your dream house, plan accordingly. But it’s about personal choices. You may be having a happy life on a scooter and your neighbor may not be in his SUV. If you are happy, stay so. It doesn’t matter whether you are living in a bungalow or at a hovel. And the best part is such elderly ladies are in every neighborhood leading a confused life and yet trying to make others feel fragile.

At times I miss my paternal grandparents when I see my friends living with theirs. I didn’t even see mine. But then I am blessed that I am living under the roof which was built under their surveillance. I am blessed we rode on the Ambassador which saw the tides of time. We still have the car safe…that is our vintage car. Today people hire interior designers to pick up antique pieces for their sophisticated apartment. But we are lucky our ancestors did that for us.

We do have a 29” TV but nothing can beat the color television which was bought by my grandmother. No remote yet attractive. I grew up watching those beautiful pigeons housed in a big cage with an open door. We have a courtyard with a little garden. Our terrace has a flag post too. Earlier people used to celebrate National Days rather than having National Holidays.

I live in a city, I write but now we have a cool designation, say, ‘blogger’, but I don’t want to change few little things in my life. Yes I am a human being and I too love glitterati but not at the cost of losing stuff that belonged to my grandparents. This is nothing emotional but it’s a matter of inheritance. I love that feeling when I touch the worn out walls of my building or ride on that Ambassador or get water from that decades old well.

In near future, we will definitely renovate our home. Not to bring in classy stuff but to strengthen it for another 70 years and more. New colors will be in, latest gadgets will ease life and a sparkling car will be bought for the convenience of the older generation. But every attempt will be made to keep every piece of memory of my grandparents alive as a blessing. Afterall this is what our actually heritage is!

The perfect road trip….

The road was clear…the weather was all windy. May be a perfect mix of emotions dominated my dawn that day!

Years of happiness showered by my role models made me restless each day, each moment to make them feel at the top of the world. I planned for no destination but wanted to make the journey blissful for the furious four of my life!

My first cousin, two years elder to me, stood like a pillar through the thick and thin episodes of life.

My aunt, Dad’s elder sister, taught us how daughters are daughters throughout their lives.

My mother, a fighter against real life troubles, an epitome of confidence and courage.

My granny the practical lady who is the best mother I have ever met and who gifted me my mom.

And I, 21 years old newly employed who shall remain indebted to these ladies all my life!

I and my sister knew to drive and we said a big NO to hire a diver. I booked an AUDI, a white one for the trip. Silent phones were allowed and watches were exempted. We decided the sun and the wind to guide us that day.

The AUDI was classy and so were the five ladies (including me), pun intended. However the white king was loaded with all kind of desi cuisines to accompany our mom-called picnic. And before the summer sun would have a toll over this stuff we had to gulp them, we sisters thought!

 And there began our journey….with excitement….with uncertainty but with curiosity to have a perfect day out. No men to guide and rule. A desire to live it on and break free!

Driving lavish cars seem to be cool but once you have that you realize women have never loved diamonds and money over family and freedom. They say if you lock two women in a room for a year and open the door after 365 days, they would ask you for another five minutes to complete their chit chat. And when our journey began it all started with words like ‘relieved’, ‘free’, ‘thank god’, ‘peace’, to name a few. And gradually it extended to anything and everything under the sky!

It was the GS Road…..and may be the subconscious mind drove us from G (Guwahati) to S (Shillong). Shillong, a frequently visited vacation destination, yet that day the locally named Scotland of East was real peace!

And once the car reached Jagiroad….the wild trees enraptured us with its silent lush greenery. The turns and twists of the road make us drive up an intrinsic low volt roller coaster. The sky was blue with little shades of haunted black clouds. May be we did want a drizzle. May be we wanted to get charged up with the summer sun. And in one hour thirty minutes amidst stories of past, we reached Nongpoh!

You take three hours to reach Shillong from Guwahati by road. But your real journey begins from Nongpoh. A ‘feel good’ milieu is going to chill your senses. Nature at its best!

My sister was not just driving the car but she was literally racing it against the odds of time. The car had insurance, we were at stake though. Yet the three elderly young ladies at the back were mesmerized with the speedy wind kissing their faces and letting their hair go unfettered. They loved the Mother Nature and we loved them!

The strange yellow spiny fruit with a green crown-like top jammed the Step Farming of the hills. The little Khasi unknown hands waved us with happy eyes. And our mothers would go crazy on their insanely cute faces.

At times we were quiet at the ravishing time we were blessed with and at times we were chatting of the men we left behind at home. And may be freedom wasn’t walking alone but to be free with each other by side.

We reached Umiam Lake or Barapani, the movie starring Shahrukh Khan, Dil Se, has scenes at its hydroelectric project. But for us people it’s like get down the car and let the clouds thrill you with its exotic fair beauty.

I clicked a lot of snaps and may be for the first time it was for my personal collection and not for updating my Facebook account. I realized that good minds give great captures even in the absence of DSLR.

A lot of tourists were merrily exaggerating the geography of the place and we were leaning on the railings and enjoying the puri sabji which travelled two and a half hours with us. Company matters in journeys like nothing else. I know a very humble person who has been travelling India alone but at the end of the day he meets new local strangers and explores the place with them. And this makes his journeys perfect…I guess so!

We got up and restarted our journey. Travel another half an hour and we were to reach Shillong, the capital city of Meghalaya. But we urged for a spontaneous journey and not a planned destination. My sister stopped the car abruptly and gave me the keys. Our eyes glittered with mischief and another three pairs of eyes dazed with suspicion.

We never reached Shillong. The AUDI u-turned hoping the road would take us to another stunning location, Diphu at Karbi Anglong in Assam and the journey continued!

Beliefs and Zodiacs….predicting unpredictable life :p

Not once upon a time but everytime a cat crosses my road, I feel like giving him/her a two way slap. Afterall he/she is eishan faramosh of the highest order…..they bring bad luck to the person upon whose Amul Taza and fresh fish, they get fed :p  But do they really bring bad luck???? Believe it or not those fellas used to cross my road four-five times everyday I go out…and subsequently I have given up the belief of taking three steps backward, before walking on further! It hardly matters…to be precise.  And now not giving anymore footage to he and she TOM, lemme promptly jump onto the backdrop of this note….afterall a Humanities student loves to reason and place views, but its upto the reader to judge whether its coherent or fallacious:p

Luck and destiny….nevertheless the extreme truths and parts of life. But beliefs, superstitions no way can avert your luck from dazzling or destructing your life. We decide our day-to-day lives on the basis of the five stars that get published in morning newspapers. And once I was surprised to see the same forecast being published twice a month. But this is the extent to which we believe beliefs:p

I wonder and wait for the time when there will be no Ganesha Speaks on Google but something like Ganesha Shouts:p  Now I am getting confused which brings bad luck- a right eye wink or a left eye wink:p  If oil falls from  your hand, you will get money….last day I dropped a litre of oil, that too refined Dhara….and I hardly increased my bank balance! They say, if you laugh a lot, you have to cry soon…but does that mean we will count smiles before placing them:p  You get hiccups and you confuse them either with love bites or hate bites….drinking a glass of water will solve your problem, I guess:p  If you eat anything round before going for exams…..they say may God bless you. But since childhood, I am fed upon potatoes, my favourite vegetable, and my scores are average:p  Snakes in dreams indicate money, fish in dreams indicates you are lucky and you should buy a lottery ticket and falling of a tooth indicates someone you know is going to die….unfortunately the third one always came true in my case,again another beliefL

Linda Goodman in her SunSigns gives a detailed account of our lives…from a child,man,woman,boss,employee…we get almost every answer in her thick forecaster! The practical me says, these are bullshit…but the curious me says, huh how come she knows!

Some say keeping a eucalyptus leaf under your pillow on a full moon, makes you see your soulmate in dream. Now yeh jyaada ho gaya but kehte hai, shayad hota hai aisa:p  Wearing whites and avoiding blacks on interview dates to avoid bad luck….but wearing blacks on personal ‘dates’ to look stunning is ironical:p  In childhood, there was a typical paper game for predicting love called-FLAMES (friendship,love,?,marriage,enemy,sister)……literally this lovemetre means combustion:p

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai brought the concept of wishing for something and everything the moment you see a falling star…..but some people say seeing a star fall brings bad luck....ab maro jahaan marna hai:p  They say if you encounter with an elephant or a group of eunuchs or a dead body on the way, you gonna have a good day ahead. With the onset of Fengshui, Laughing Buddhas have hit our shelves big time. Earlier it was a parrot bestowing us with the luck factor and now its astrology, palmistry, numerology, tarot reading that have made us fall in love with our future foretell. Tuesdays and Saturdays, don’t start journeys….Thursdays don’t spend money- flights should be cancelled on the former and banks should be closed on the latter days then:p  Falling of a comb brings guests home, the singing of the owls indicates marriages at home, crying of animals brings bad luck to home.

Wishing for something when you spot a couple of Maina birds, wishing for something more when you see a running train and getting all the wishes shattered when you see a monkey on a journey:p  Crossing fingers were not just ample, so some end up crossing legs too…anticipating for some good news!

Don’t sneeze in good occasions, don’t look back while going out…..don’ts are lot when it comes to beliefs, but as far as zodiacs are concerned, you can heal your future accordingly:p  Buy a start up package with 500, and you get all solutions of unpredictable life. If it’s still much, then go for daily packs@ re1/day, on mobile networks these days!

Stretching from Aries to Pisces, I don’t know What’s your Rashee, but reading these zodiacs bring so much oddity,optimism,poise at one point of time that at the other point of time you gonna mess up big time:p  So no matter it’s a two star or a four star day on newspaper, you can still have a fine day provided you have done your homework well:p  Yet till the time you wed, enjoy having faith in these beliefs and zodiacs and predicting this unpredictable life….kyunki after that there will be a standard kundali matching occasion again predicting your unpredictable life leaving you to sing why this 3(kolaveri) di:p

Last but not the least, amidst everything, don’t get murky if next time you spot one star beside your zodiac as life is like a paheli and you never know when the tables are turned, stars are on your side and Rahu Ketu sending you a friend request:p